Tango and Life. Or, how I found flow
Last week I finally went to my first Milonga (Tango Argentino). Was I nervous? Yes, I was. I only started to learn Tango only a few months ago, consider myself an absolute beginner (I am), didn’t want to make a fool of myself , didn’t want to hurt anyone on the dance floor (it is crowded), could only do a few moves (compared to what the semi-pros on the dance floor showed), …, and the list goes on and on. Today I know that it was and is a list of excuses, lame excuses that is.
[Photo © Joachim Kant | pixelio.de]
So, how was my first Milonga?
Well, especially in the beginning I felt more like an elephant on ice. My brain was mush, no, empty. It seemed that I had forgotten everything I learned in my dance classes. I felt like a rock in a storm, not able to move one inch. At the same time my head was full of, well, I don’t know what it was – void, heat, concerns, fear?
Breaking the ice
Luckily, I was not alone. The first dance with my wife was actually passable. Both of us were nervous. And yet we survived. “Time to sit down and rest, recuperate, refresh”, I thought. But the minute I sat down a friend of mine asked me to dance with her. Ooops. Here it was again, fear crawling up my stomach, my brain turning into mush.
On the other side, my dance partner was very understanding and encouraging. I think we did ok; at least, nobody was hurt. 🙂 The first ice was broken.
Going for flow
Time went on, was flying. Soon three hours passed. I still felt “foreign”, but not like an elephant on ice anymore, maybe more like a dog on ice.
And then there were 3-4 dances when time stood still; when all of sudden I let go of all pressure, concerns, thoughts, and all I did was listening to the music and dance with my partner. Our steps and moves flew naturally. It was smooth sailing. And with it came joy, relaxation, big inner smiles and grins. Both of us were stunned and perplexed. Amazing.
Ok, 3-4 dances out of 20 or more is not that much. But it was more than enough to motivate us to plan our next Milonga. And we are really looking forward to it. Will it be better? Possibly and probably, for this first Milonga revealed something magical.
The secret of flow
I realized that I still have to learn a lot. Technically? Yes. But more so about letting go, relaxing, listening to the music, going with the flow, looking for and moving into free spaces, being in the moment. Letting go and being and going with the moment seems to be, no, is the key to experiencing joy and flow on the dance floor.
This was and is the outstanding insight of my first Milonga – about Tango as well as life.
Tango and life
People say that Tango is a reflection of life. This is so true. And it is not the Milongas, it is also the Tango lessons, the learning experiences bringing excitement, motivation, joy, frustration, depression, worries, concerns, fears. Tango can teach you a lot about your attitude and practice in life, about your partnerships, your love, your outlook, your flow (or the lack therof), your being. It drastically reveals your state of life.
If Tango doesn’t flow quite yet, check your present life style, your family life, your friendships, partnerships and professional environment. Are you limiting your thinking, are you trying to structure, plan and control it? This may work at times and yield satisfactory results. But, if you truly want to dance in your flow, you have to let go of limiting thoughts, concerns, fears. Jumping into the cold water, showing and expressing who you are in this moment. Could very well be that it is not “perfect” in the eye of some beholders and the greatest critic (which is probably you yourself).
Motivation to be human
We are human with imperfections which make us perfect; we are not machines. Ripping yourself off false expectations and just go and play like a kid is refreshing and rewarding like nothing else. Because it helps you be human and find and be yourself again.